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Gorgeous Fem Dykes Sighted at Kathy’s Place Mt. Orab, OH Two beautiful lesbians were reported seen at Kathy’s Place late on Thursday, June 23. “At least I thought they were lesbians at first,” said Catfish Bob who was at the scene where the two beautiful lesbian sighting took place. “But on closer inspection, if you know what I mean, I don’t think they are lesbians. In fact, I think one of them kinda liked me.” “I talked to them first,” said Dennis Place, the bartender and son of Kathy Place proprietor of Kathy’s Place. “They come into the bar wetter ‘n two beavers with a busted dam. It must have been on account of that storm.” Place recalled the power and the force by which the first storm of the summer had ravaged the town. “It was a big one,” he said. Dennis remembers the alleged lesbian ladies’ unusual drink order. “The dark one with the shaggy hair ordered a cranberry and vodka but then the blonde one ordered a fuzzy muff and then the dark one said she wanted one too,” said Dennis. A fuzzy muff is a vodka cranberry and grapefruit, which is the official drink of the TDCDS (Truck Driving California Dykes Society). “I ast them what they were doin here and they said nothin,” said Place. “The blonde one ast me a bunch of questions. Stuff about me—do I work a lot, when do I get off work, do I still live at home with my mother—you know the usual stuff that women ast when they want to get into your pants.” Place did not bite on the woman’s bait. “I’m a professional,” said Place. Besides, what am I gonna do with a coupla dykes from a big city like Dayton?” The alleged lesbians, were rumored to having traveled by car to Mt. Orab from as far away as Dayton, Ohio. “They said they come from Dayton, but if you ask me, I’d say they come from New York or California. Somewhere they make movies at,” said Little Erik. “I love my little four year old boy more than anything, but if you ask me, them babes was hot as movie stars."
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Little Erik did not get very far with either of the alleged lesbos. “Not with Catfish in the house, I didn’t. Hell, I warn’t even gonna try.” “But I think the dark shaggy haired one liked me the most,” said Erik. “She squirmed all over that barstool when I came over to talk to her.” Why the two lesbians came to Kathy’s Place in the first place is the subject of much contoversy. “I think they were some kinda reporters looking for information about the town,” said “Naw, they was investigators,” said Big Elaine, the only other female customer ever to have set foot into Kathy’s Place. “They was asking all about Mt. Orab. They wanted to know where the mountain was, which is pretty stupid if you ask me. All we got here is a dip.” “They said they was just passin through, then that’s what they was doin,” said Skinny Don. “If a pair of hot lezzies wanna sit on a barstool nexta me, they’s welcome anytime.” Don claims that the Lesbians were sisters. “It’s okay with me. I’d do my own sister if she looked anything like either one of them babes.” “You already do your own sister,” suggested Big Elaine. “And she’s ugly as you are. If you really want to know about the dykes you gotta ast Catfish.” Catfish Bob, frequent visitor of Kathy’s Place, recalls how he came to meet the two alleged homosexuals. “I bought a round of drinks for everyone in the house, and they thought I was after them,” said Catfish Bob. “They smiled and winked and the red headed one gave me that come on and get it look.” Local blues singer and guitar player, Catfish Bob, is the subject of local notoriety. Bob has been known for getting really drunk and doing beautiful women. “I could tell they was sisters once they told me, but the way they fondled and drooled all over each other made me think twice.”
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